Monday Morning Brain Maze

My clock reads 6:24 AM.

I should not be awake.

In fact, I should not have been awake at 3:42 AM when I initially looked at the clock.  I don’t have to be at work until nine and my alarm is set for eight.

I gave up hoping I would fall back asleep, even if I could at this point I would wake up very grumpy.  So I am sitting in my kitchen with a cup of coffee hoping today will be a good day.  The thought makes me giggle for some reason, I am so pessimistic.  I’m pretty sure I could give you a rundown of my day before it even starts, the monotony can be mind numbing.

The thought that has really been taking space in my head is that perhaps I am emotionally stuck in my early twenties.  I don’t feel like an adult, or at least not a good one.  I heard a quote recently… “If you are depressed you are living in the past, if you are anxious you are living in the future, if you are at peace you are living in the present.” (Lao Tzu) If this is true then it is not often I am living in the present.

Here is my horoscope for today (and yours if you are a Scorpio)…

Your psychic abilities and imagination are operating at a very high level, Scorpio. You face other people with a profound, spiritual love. They will return it! You might want to write down your thoughts or draw pictures of whatever pops into your mind, even if you don’t feel you have talent. It’s more important to keep a record for you than set things down for posterity.

This is the first time I’ve read my horoscope in ages!  It is interesting, I actually don’t feel like I have talent, so why is it important for me to keep a record of whatever pops into my mind?  And yet here I am, doing exactly what it suggests.  Maybe that’s a sign for me to also face people with a profound, spiritual love today.  Yes, that is definitely a good idea.  If I focus on loving others perhaps I can get out of the maze in my head for a bit.  But if that is the reason I do it then I’m not doing it for the right reasons.  Is treating people with love ever wrong?  See?!  This is what my brain does to me!  It’s a loosing battle my friends 😉

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3 thoughts on “Monday Morning Brain Maze

  1. I’ll add a single letter to your own words:
    “treating people with love [is] Never wrong”

    my immediate thoughts:
    Focussing on loving others doesn’t always provide the solution you need.
    Lao Tzu is most likely correct.
    Being kind to yourself achieves more than being hard on yourself.
    When we struggle, we are fighting against something in our lives. Does it need to shift or do we need to shift our focus?

    You are talented. You are cared for.

    Liked by 1 person

      • I’m glad my words connected with you. Just be wary of using the word should – be kind to yourself because you deserve it.
        In regards to being kind and shifting your own focus/energy, tell yourself: there is no judgement for who you are, and no judgement for who you’ve been. What you do with yourself in the present moment is all that matters. If you manage just one positive step forwards, in thought or action, then that is a moment to cherish and be proud of. Don’t berate yourself if that doesn’t happen, just keep making positive efforts as you can, push yourself forwards little by little, and you will eventually get yourself to a better place.

        Liked by 1 person

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